I love black thongs
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
