I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
