I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
