I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
