well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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