one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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