the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
