He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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