So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
