never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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