Already got asked if we're dating
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
