He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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