apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
