Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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