Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She bit a glass in half.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
