Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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