Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
