dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
