I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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