I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize