The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
