I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is wine microwaveable?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
