tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
only if we run a train.
done.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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