the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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