I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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