Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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