Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
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Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.