Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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