Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch