I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand