Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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