these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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