you guys were way drunker than both of me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
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He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
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Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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