I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You are the jesus of drinking
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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