So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
