It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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