Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
