so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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