Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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