i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
should my penis look like a turkey
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
