If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
