Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
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i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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