ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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