that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
