i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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