I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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