your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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