Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
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The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
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I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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