I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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