i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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