Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
