the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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