Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He kissed a someone with a penis
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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