Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
