After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
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Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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