Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
