So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
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There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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