don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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