the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
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tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
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That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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