dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
