we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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