you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Randomize
