that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
